Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens, 1835–1910), often called the father of American literature, was the greatest humorist of his age and a writer who brought distinctive American themes and language to readers for more than three decades. Twain was a master of colloquial speech and, with inimitable genius, produced countless works, from essays on America’s unacceptable social realities to such classics as The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Twain was born during a visit by Halley’s Comet and went out with it as well, dying the day after the comet’s return.

Photograph by A. F. Bradley.

Robert Burns

An Essay

by Mark Twain

“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.”

—Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar


Wednesday, Sept. 11. In this world we often make mistakes of judgment. We do not as a rule get out of them sound and whole, but sometimes we do. At dinner yesterday evening—present, a mixture of Scotch, English, American, Canadian, and Australasian folk—a discussion broke out about the pronunciation of certain Scottish words. This was private ground, and the non-Scotch nationalities, with one exception, discreetly kept still. But I am not discreet, and I took a hand. I didn’t know anything about the subject, but I took a hand just to have something to do. At that moment the word in dispute was the word three.

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