Joyce Carol Oates, one of the most eminent and prolific contemporary literary figures, is the author of fiction, poetry, plays, and criticism. Her more than fifty novels include Because It Is Bitter, and Because It Is My Heart; Black Water; Mudwoman; Carthage; The Man Without a Shadow; A Book of American Martyrs; My Life as a Rat; and Blindsight. She teaches at Princeton and is a founder of and an editor at The Ontario Review.

Photograph by Dustin Cohen.

Nighthawk: Recollections of a Lost Time

A Memoir

by Joyce Carol Oates

Where we find ourselves is often not where we’ve sent ourselves. One day it happens that we are awakened to the thought Here. Here I am. Why?

Madison, Wisconsin. September 1960. For the first time in my (relatively) young life, I’d flown alone—I arrived at the small airport in Madison breathless with anticipation. No doubt I had not slept the night before in anticipation of the flight into the unknown. For I was leaving home after a brief summer in Millersport, after graduating from Syracuse University; this time, enrolled in graduate school at the University of Wisconsin with the intention of earning a master’s degree in American literature and, if all went well, eventually a PhD—it seemed clear to me, as to my parents, that I was leaving home permanently.

I was twenty-two years old. Though it seems preposterous to me now, at the time twenty-two did seem somewhat old.

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