Benjamin Alire Sáenz received the American Book Award in 1992 for his first book of poems, Calendar of Dust. His many other awards include a Southwest Book Award, the Paterson Prize, and the Americas Book Award, and his collection of short stories set along the Texas-Mexico border, Everything Begins and Ends at the Kentucky Club, won the 2013 PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction. His most recent poetry collection is The Book of What Remains. Sáenz is the chair of the creative writing department at the University of Texas at El Paso.



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Confessions: My Father, Hummingbirds, and Frantz Fanon

by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

        Every effort is made to bring the colonised person to admit the inferiority of his culture . . .

       —Frantz Fanon

AND THERE ARE DAYS when storms hover

Over my house, their brooding just this side of rage,
An open hand about to slap a face. You won’t believe me


When I tell you it is not personal. It isn’t. It only feels
That way because the face is yours. So what if it is the only
Face you’ve got? Listen, a storm will grab the first thing
In its path, a Persian cat, a sixth-grade boy on his way home
From school, an old woman watering her roses, a black
Man running down a street (late to a dinner with his wife),
A white guy buying cigarettes at the corner store. A storm
Will grab a young woman trying to escape her boyfriend,
A garbage can, a Mexican busboy with no papers, you.
We are all collateral damage for someone’s beautiful
Ideology, all of us inanimate in the face of the onslaught.
My father had the biggest hands I’ve ever seen. He never
Wore a wedding ring. Somehow, it would have looked lost,
Misplaced on his thick worker’s hands that were, to me,
As large as Africa. There have been a good many storms
In Africa over the centuries. One was called colonialism
(Though I confess to loving Tarzan as a boy).
People on couch
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