That Final Paper You Want from Me

Hey, Dr. Pettit,

I know you said that a written final term paper is a requirement for your freshman Intro to Composition class. I know you said our final paper had to be in a “legitimate literary structure,” like an essay or a memoir. And I know that when I pitched you the idea of creating a social network as my final project, you started babbling about taking early retirement. You really hurt my feelings with that reaction.

Not to worry, I’m legendary for being a forgiving person! However, you need to give some thought to what you’re asking us to do, and how the world has changed.

For one thing, you seem to be under the impression that “composition” is about nothing but text. The fact is, composition these days needs graphics, photos, a cool layout, and emoticons. And, let’s face it, a composition without clickable buttons is nowhere. I’m surprised you couldn’t understand that’s why I didn’t finish any of the novels you assigned. Where were the hyperlinks? Were you deliberately trying to bore us?