Instructions for Wooing Me (Monster That I Am)

                with two lines taken from Roman Holiday

First generate a charge. Rub hard
if you have to. Crash a little against my fleeciest spots.
When I begin to stain with electricity, turn your faucets off.
I am a pornography of small promises. I tell you this softly
because really I am a soft thing. I open my modesty
umbrella. This is how you know to get out
your cutting board. If I balk pull a tooth or two.
I want you to do this to me because I want you
to do this. I am the chugging gin of the universe.