The home team lost four in a row to start the season
and the first baseman blew a ligament in his left knee.
So the locals get worked up on talk radio, insisting that
they won’t catch a glimpse of the pennant race for at least
the next ten years. Their depth of pessimism is inspiring
and I revel in it. Lord, bless this land with an abundance
of shitty baseball teams and rush-hour traffic. Let minor
lament ring out from the top of the tallest landfill
to the front desk of the nation’s most obstinate DMV.
